SOOOOO much has happened since i last posted!!! i actually moved to another state. (wow) lol! but before that (about 2 weeks ago) i went to the doctor and got on the scale....i was 138 lbs... officially my highest weight. you can imagine how i felt. AT YOUR HIGHEST IS WHEN YOU FEEL LOWEST. :(. but on monday i started the master cleanse and i was on it for three days i lost 8 lbs!!! but for some reason i doubted myself...i broke the fast for like no reason. i was so depressed after i ate, i stayed in bed all day. but i have decided to start the cleanse again tomorrow and lose the rest of the weight. i realized while on the cleanse that i dont need food and i am in charge....not my cravings. i want to do the cleanse for 20 days and hopefully get down to 110 lbs. so now that i know that i can do this, i will stop at nothing. i would love it if i could have you guys' support! i will keep you updated daily on the cleanse.

this is the body i want















Natasha from ANTM cycle 8

my scale is named elyse

my fucking scale is in storage. i cant wait to see my baby. oh, how i dream of those numbers:

120.
119.
115.
110.
105.
100.
95.

i miss my baby








126.4? FUCK THAT!

watching america's next top model is GREAT thinspo. dude. i plan to be 95 lbs by december, when i come back for holiday. i was aiming for a gw of 102, but i really want to shock my mom because that bitch doesn't know a damn thing about me. she always talks about how naturally thin she was when she was my age. well that bitch will be surprised when im a size 00.

this is what i plan to eat tomorrow:

1/2 can od tuna: 90 cals
1 egg: 70 cals
1/2 can of tuna: 90 cals
steamed broccoli: 50 cals
diet coke: 0
2 litres of water: 0
altoids: 25

that is a total of 325 calories

i want to get a job at american apparel, but all the girls are skinnyyyy who work there. that is because all the clothes are tiny. i am going to lose 30 lbs and work there!

so last week i started off by eating around 500 cals a day. i was doing great. but thursday i fell off and i had doughnuts and a quesadilla and other shit. and then the holidays...ARGGHHH. i dont even want to think about how many calories i ate. but i am getting back on track. yesterday, i ate about 6oo cals and today ive only eaten 200 so far. i can do this. i will be thin.

this is what i ate yesterday:

2 small peaches: 70 calories

turkey meat: 70 calories

steamed carrots with mushrooms and bean sprouts: 70 calories

gum: 25 calories

rice and beans: 200 calories

peanut butter on 1/2 piece of bread: 110 calories

total: 545 calories