SOOOOO much has happened since i last posted!!! i actually moved to another state. (wow) lol! but before that (about 2 weeks ago) i went to the doctor and got on the scale....i was 138 lbs... officially my highest weight. you can imagine how i felt. AT YOUR HIGHEST IS WHEN YOU FEEL LOWEST. :(. but on monday i started the master cleanse and i was on it for three days i lost 8 lbs!!! but for some reason i doubted myself...i broke the fast for like no reason. i was so depressed after i ate, i stayed in bed all day. but i have decided to start the cleanse again tomorrow and lose the rest of the weight. i realized while on the cleanse that i dont need food and i am in charge....not my cravings. i want to do the cleanse for 20 days and hopefully get down to 110 lbs. so now that i know that i can do this, i will stop at nothing. i would love it if i could have you guys' support! i will keep you updated daily on the cleanse.

this is the body i want















Natasha from ANTM cycle 8

my scale is named elyse

my fucking scale is in storage. i cant wait to see my baby. oh, how i dream of those numbers:

120.
119.
115.
110.
105.
100.
95.

i miss my baby








126.4? FUCK THAT!

watching america's next top model is GREAT thinspo. dude. i plan to be 95 lbs by december, when i come back for holiday. i was aiming for a gw of 102, but i really want to shock my mom because that bitch doesn't know a damn thing about me. she always talks about how naturally thin she was when she was my age. well that bitch will be surprised when im a size 00.

this is what i plan to eat tomorrow:

1/2 can od tuna: 90 cals
1 egg: 70 cals
1/2 can of tuna: 90 cals
steamed broccoli: 50 cals
diet coke: 0
2 litres of water: 0
altoids: 25

that is a total of 325 calories

i want to get a job at american apparel, but all the girls are skinnyyyy who work there. that is because all the clothes are tiny. i am going to lose 30 lbs and work there!

so last week i started off by eating around 500 cals a day. i was doing great. but thursday i fell off and i had doughnuts and a quesadilla and other shit. and then the holidays...ARGGHHH. i dont even want to think about how many calories i ate. but i am getting back on track. yesterday, i ate about 6oo cals and today ive only eaten 200 so far. i can do this. i will be thin.

this is what i ate yesterday:

2 small peaches: 70 calories

turkey meat: 70 calories

steamed carrots with mushrooms and bean sprouts: 70 calories

gum: 25 calories

rice and beans: 200 calories

peanut butter on 1/2 piece of bread: 110 calories

total: 545 calories

ive gained five lbs this summer. i am determined to get down to 120 lbs by the time i get  back to school august 28th. do you think i can do it? im 135 now.

yesterday i ate

small peach

salad

2 slices of turkey

and then like a dumb ass i binged on:

chips

cereal

hashbrowns

i ate too much

prolly 1500 cals

i need to be thin

something that will prolly help me out is writing down every morsel that passes through my lips.

some bitchin' thinspo

i am a failure (as usual).

i need to dedicate more time to this blog. i have been inspired by so many of the bloggers who have been able to lose weight. i need to regain control. 

tea and water tomorrow. i will let you know how it goes. if i can do this, i know that i can do anything.

just a thought. i am home all fucking summer from uni....this would be the perfect time to fast. duh. but there are so many triggers at home. my family being one of them. and the summer makes me lazy. i just need to cut it the fuck out and fucking lose weight. and what the fuck, there isnt a proper scale here...i had to leave mine at school. wouldn't it be so good if i stepped on that scale when i get back to school and it says 122, 119, 115?  i have this pair of shorts that are two or three sizes too small...i want to be able to fit those. 

i am fat again (surprise) back at 132...my lowest weight this school year was 123. i want to really be thin. i am going on a liquid fast (tea,juice,water) and then ultimately on a water fast. after that i will be raw food/broth then soup.